Starkiller
by swilson5
Summary: With the rebellion in tatters and no other course of action promising General Organana asks Rey to do something risky. Leia wants her son back and believes that together they can get Ben Solo back on their side. With someone new emerging from Kylo Ren's past the course of the galaxy may be altered forever.
1. Chapter 1

Rey awoke with a start from her dream. It was becoming more and more common. Flashes of light, screams, the heat from an explosion and then stillness before she bolted awake, her heart racing. It was like her body was waiting for something to happen, something that lurked just beyond the edges. Rey sat up, breathing deeply to calm her racing heart and looked to the holo on her desk. Middle of the night, not even close to morning but it was too late, she wouldn't be able to sleep now. To many thoughts had been racing through her since the rebellion arrived at a small forgotten base and made camp. The preparations and cleanup had kept everyone busy for a few days but as things settled down the weight of their loss had begun to settle. Even the steadfast Leia was quiet and introspective. Rey made her way to from her room to the command center where several people were seated at screens transmitting messages to a long list of old rebel bases in the hopes that another resistance sleeper cell was out there to receive it. She spotted Poe at a larger screen to her left and made her way over.

"What are you doing up?" Poe asked as she approached.

"I could ask you the same question." She said, gesturing to the screen which showed all sorts of machinery some with numbers and indicators she wasn't sure the meaning of.

"I've catalogued what equipment is here" he said pointing to the symbols and pictures on the screen. "And now I've run diagnostics on all of it. Most of it is broken in one way or another, some of it just from not being used in so long. I'm thinking that with what we have maybe we can put together a small squadron. Maybe ten ships. Something we can send out to start recruiting more fighters." He trailed off.

They sat in silence for several seconds. Rey knew he was hurting, could feel it rolling off him in waves, exhaustion, grief, disappointment but determination too, always hope.

"I think that sounds like a good idea" she offered reassuringly "Rebuilding the resistance is all we can do right now, keep our heads down and keep moving forward."

"Yeah." He replied, still looking a little defeated "So what are you doing awake again? Did Leia call a meeting?"

"No, just couldn't sleep. Is there something I can help with up here?" She asked hopefully.

"Nah" he replied, "everything is pretty quiet but the door is open right now if you wanted to get some fresh air."

While they spent most of their time inside the bunker working they did explore the small planet for food and other supplies and everyone was welcome to go outside when the door was open. Rey took Poe's suggestion and made her way to the exit planning to take a short walk in the woods, clear her head. She was out of sight of the bunker, using a small holo for light when she felt it. That buzzing at the back of her skull that told her the force bond was open. She felt eyes on her back and took a deep breath before turning to face Kylo Ren.

She looked to his face, trying to discern if he would try to attach her through the bond, no doubt he was still angry about what had happened on Snoke's ship, but he was unreadable, shut off in a way she had not seen before.

"Hello Rey." He said not moving, just looking at her intently.

"Why are you here?" Rey demanded, "I don't want to see you."

"It's not by choice" he stated blankly, "The connection opened without my help."

Rey was silent, not knowing if this was the truth, not knowing what to say if it was.

"You look tired." Kylo remarked studying her face closely. Rey's mind jumped to her dreams, the screaming, the silence.

"Jedi don't have nightmares you know." Kylo said, reading her thoughts.

"Stay out of my head!" Rey returned, pushing him out of her mind, pushing far enough to glimpse his. Anger, darkness, nothingness… and then that glow, that small spark of light still burning. She ignored it this time pulling back, not wanting to see anything good in the monster before her.

"Jedi don't hate either" Kylo continued, taunting her "and I know you hate me, I can feel it."

"You're right" Rey admitted, "I do hate you." The connection snapped, he was gone before she even had time to see him react. The forest around her solidified once more, the cool night air chilling her. Angry with herself for giving in to his taunts Rey made her way back to the base. She was so deep in thought that she almost ran directly into Leia, not seeing her until she stood directly in her path.

"Rey, " Leia began, "is everything alright? You seem distracted."

Rey looked at the kind woman who had become more of a mother to her than she had ever known. Her calm, collected presence was soothing. She considered lying, making an excuse about being tired and going to hide in her room but decided better of it.

"I thought the connection with Kylo Ren was gone." she started, "But it happened again, just now in the woods. I don't want it to. I'm afraid he'll find a way to use it to find us."

Leia looked sad for a moment. "I don't think that is possible." She said, reassuringly. "I don't think the force works like that. You are drawn together because you are opposite, darkness always calls to the light." Here she paused, clearly upset to know that the darkness was once her son.

"But that's the problem." Rey admitted, "I can sense the light in him. So much darkness, but light too and I don't know what to do about it. There should be no light left after what he has done. I don't understand the force even with Luke's training and now he's gone."

Leia smiled sadly. "Luke may not be able to teach you anymore but he is not gone. As long as the force is with us, he is too." She paused, "As for my son, he is corrupted but he has so much of his father's heart, I would be surprised if he did not have conflict still."

"But his conflict means nothing." Rey said vehemently, "He killed so many of us, destroyed the rebellion. He made his choice."

"If there is one thing that I have learned over the years Rey, it is that nothing is absolute. Anyone can be redeemed, even a Sith." Leia explained and Rey knew she was thinking of Darth Vader, her father. Luke had saved him from the dark side after so many years of pain and darkness. She knew that Leia held out hope for her son for that reason but Rey could not bring herself to accept that Kylo Ren could ever be good. Not even with a spark of light.

Rey remained silent, not knowing how to tell her General that she thought she was wrong. Leia broke the silence.

"Rey, the rebellion is failing." She started, "there are so few allies left and even less are willing to fight anymore. We need a miracle, we need to try to dismantle the First Order but we can't do it through fighting battles we can never win. It's time to try a new tactic." She paused, making sure she had Rey's full attention, "We need Ben Solo on our side, and we need to you help get him there."

Rey's head was spinning again. Leia had spent the better part of the morning convincing her that the best course of action was to try to turn Kylo Ren back to their side, something Rey though to be impossible. Unfortunately, with Rey being the only one who could directly communicate with him Leia knew she would have to be the one to try. Rey argued against this plan, certain it was a fool's errand, they could never convince him to side with them, he was too corrupt with power. He had killed his own father! But Leia was persistent and when Poe joined them and surprisingly agreed with the General Rey knew it was pointless to argue anymore. They thought this was a real strategy and now she was their weapon.

They wanted her to cultivate the bond, try to learn to open it at will. Speak to Kylo Ren and try to chip away at his allegiance to the dark side. Show kindness. Remind him that his mother still loved him. The thought of showing him compassion made Rey feel ill. He deserved nothing. He deserved the hatred she felt for him. But she was a rebellion fighter and her mission was set out for her. Two days later, when she felt that familiar pull once again, she steeled herself for what she had to do.

Kylo Ren looked more put together now, his clothing dark and severe. The scar on his face still noticeable but less angry looking but the dark circles around his eyes gave him away. The _Supreme Leader_ looked like he hadn't slept since the battle on Crait. He didn't speak to her this time just stood there looking exasperated that he was stuck in this bond, something must have been going on in the First Order for him to be so distracted.

"your mother wants you to know that she loves you." Rey blurted out, deciding to get right to the point and hit him with it before the connection broke. It was her mission to make him remember the family he had, the love he had felt before Snoke.

He flinched at the words like she had struck him. He glared at her, "my _mother_ " he began, "my mother left me. Dropped me with an uncle I barely knew at the age of six and left!" He was shouting now, flying into rage quickly, "She has no right to love me!"

Surprised by the vehemence of his anger Rey didn't have time to realize that he was advancing on her until he had her by the throat. She was struck silent, choking, not able to get enough air. Kylo Ren put his lips to her ear and spoke quietly.

"Tell _my mother_ that her love is too late. She should have tired it before she abandoned me." He released her throat and was gone, the bond dropping so quickly Rey was dizzy.

 _Well, that went well._ She thought to herself. Leaving her room she made her way to the command room to find Leia to inform her of her progress, or lack thereof.

Leia looked heartbroken when Rey told her about her conversation with Kylo Ren. The general who was so strong so much of the time sat down and wept. Poe stood quietly beside her, offering her quiet strength.

"I am sorry." Said Rey, when General Organa had collected herself. "We knew this would not be easy or pleasant. I am sorry that it hurts you."

Leia half smiled, "I knew those feeling existed in him but to have it said out loud… forgive me, it hurt more than I would have imagined." She sighed, "Knowing that he feels so abandoned by his family and so betrayed by what happened with Luke I think it's time that I told you both my plan B."

Rey and Poe exchanged a confused look but waited for her to continue.

"I didn't want to use this information if we didn't have to but I don't think we will make any progress without it… There is someone that we need to find."


	2. Chapter 2

Rey left the General with more questions than answers but also with, if not compassion, at least a better understanding of why Ben Solo became Kylo Ren. The information Leia had shared was tragic. It made sense why Kylo had lost it after Rey's rejection. That kind of pain runs deep.

Rey strode purposefully through the base looking for Poe, she would need his help if she was going to complete the mission Leia had given her. She needed a pilot…the best pilot and the best ship they had that wasn't the Falcon. It was too recognizable and everyone in the galaxy was looking for it. They needed to be invisible, fly under the radar, so to speak.

She found Poe in the kitchen with Fin and Rose having lunch. They all greeted her warmly and Rey took a seat next to Poe.

"I need a pilot." She said without preamble.

"Great," Said Poe sarcastically, "you found one, anything else?"

"A ship."

"Okay…" Poe said looking at her like she had lost her mind and looking to Fin to confirm. "Can I ask where you need to go?"

"I need to go to Voss and you need to take me." Said Rey plainly.

Poe heaved a sigh. "Rey," he started, "Voss has no rebels on it, it's not a place we can go to recruit. Its run by gangsters."

"Yeah I know," Said Rey, "I need to go to the nightmare forest on Voss."

"What?!" exclaimed Poe, "No way! That place is a mess of forgotten mine shafts and creatures I don't even want to think about. What could we possibly need that's there?"

Rey smiled.

By afternoon Poe had outfitted a small transport with enough supplies to get them through a few weeks and enough fuel to get them Voss and back without a problem. Fin and Rose had insisted on coming but Rey convinced Fin that Rose was not yet well enough for a trip like this, especially with so many unknowns awaiting them. Poe prepped BB-8 and started preparing final checks while Leia pulled Rey aside to offer advice about their target.

"She won't be easy to find Rey, she has been hiding a long time." Leia confided, "Maz got me this information a while ago after Brea came to her for help but I didn't use it then. There is a reason she is hiding and she'll be on the lookout for people trying to find her. Your best bet is going to be to go to Voss and just wait."

"Wait?" Rey asked, "We are running out of time we need to hurry…"

"The more you rush the faster she will see you coming, she's smart Rey and just as powerful as you." Leia warned, "Just wait her out. Once you get close enough she'll try to bolt. Give her this." Leia pulled out a small gold chance cube on a chain and handed it to Rey. "She'll recognize it, I only hope she'll stop long enough to hear you out."

With no further instructions to give Leia hugged Rey and wished her luck on their mission before heading off to the control room to monitor their departure. Rey entered the cockpit of the refitted scout vessel and took the co-pilot seat next to Poe, switching on ignition switches and the lightspeed compressor.

Poe turned to her then, "You sure we are doing the right thing?" he asked, "This girl has been hiding out for six years, maybe she won't help us."

"She'll help us." Rey replied, "She was a Jedi once, she'll understand how much we need her."

Poe navigated the craft out of the bay doors and the atmosphere before having BB-8 set a course for Voss and accelerating the ship into hyperspace.

Voss was not what Rey had expected. She had expected cities and mob bosses betting on pod races in the streets. Instead it was a tangle of small villages, mining towns and trading posts. No law and order to speak of and a serious lack of leadership. They set the ship down on the outskirts of the nightmare forest near a small trading outpost that seemed to be too crowded in contrast to the vast empty forest that stretched out to one side of it. The inhabitants took no notice of their ship with many such craft coming and going.

Rey and Poe took the first few days carefully exploring the trading post, trading some spare parts here and there to keep up pretenses, drinking in the pub in the evening, keeping an ear to the ground for any word on a young woman named Brea. But nothing came of it.

On day three Rey discreetly inquired of a local shop owner if he knew of anyone with that name. Rey lied and said that she has something to trade with her and had been told to ask. The little man genuinely appeared to not have any idea what she was talking about and she dropped it.

By day four Poe was getting restless. Whenever he couldn't just jump into an X-wing and blow something up when he felt like it he tended to get stir crazy. He and BB-8 played strategy games at night on the ship while Rey kept watch from the cockpit for anything unusual in town.

On day five something happened. Going about their normal daily routine (go into town, trade a few pieces, ask a few questions) Rey got that tingling awareness in the back of her skull. She whipped around quickly trying to see if Kylo Ren was there again but she saw nothing. Glancing to her left she caught sight of a small form, cloaked in a hood looking her direction. Though she couldn't see their eyes she felt that awareness deepen and then the figure was gone. Disappearing into the crown.

Grabbing Poe by the arm Rey quickly explained what had happened. They split up, winding through stalls and tents looking for a small hooded figure for almost an hour before giving up.

"Maybe it was just some creature looking to seal from us or something" Poe suggested once they were back on the ship, "That might make you go on high alert, right?"

"It wasn't like that. " Rey tried to explain "It's like…an awareness…like a tingling in your skin. It happens when other force users are nearby. I think whoever that was can lead us to her."

"Well if you think so, "Poe sighed "let's figure out a way to find them."

They came up with a plan, not a super sophisticated plan, but a plan none the less and decided to attempt it in the morning, if they were lucky and they person showed up again.

Smoke. The smell of burning plastic and metal and fuel. The scream and then the silence.

"Rey!"

Rey awoke with a start with Poe leaning over her shaking her awake.

"Rey, you're having a nightmare." He sat beside her on the bed, holding onto her arms looking wary.

Rey pulled in deep lungful's of clean air, trying to erase the acrid smell of burning from her memory.

"I'm okay" she reassured Poe, "Just a dream. Must be the stress." She said looking into his concerned eyes. It was then that she became aware of their position. Poe holding onto her, on herbed, so close. He must have realized it too because he stood up a little too quickly, hitting his head on her bunk.

"Okay." He said, rubbing his head where he had hit it, "Well we should head out soon." Avoiding her eyes he walked away.

Rey smiled to herself realizing not for the first time that Poe was rather attractive. And then it hit her, that buzzing sensation.

"Another nightmare…Jedi?"

Rey turned slowly to Kylo Ren who looked odd standing in their small, outdated ship in his First Order clothing.

"Like you said" She replied "Jedi don't have nightmares. I'm fine."

Kylo Ren smirked, looking her over his expression changing as if he was trying to work out a puzzle. "Why are you dressed like that?" He said gesturing to her protective clothing and multiple layers, what she had been wearing to blend in on Voss. "Are you away from your base?" He asked sounding genuinely curious. "Did the General send you to try to find more recruits? You won't find any, your cause is broken."

Rey stared him down not wanting to give anything away.

"What?" he said, "No protestations? No assurances that my mother loves me? No plea for me to give up my power?"

"She does love you." Rey said, grasping onto a piece of the conversation that would steer them away from her mission.

"Too little and far too late." Was his reply. And then Rey felt it. A small probe into her mind, like a little tap behind her ear. Rey pushed out with her mind keeping him far from her secret. Chuckling Kylo Ren out his hands up in mock surrender.

"I could teach you how to do that more effectively." He said just before she felt him slam into her defenses. Her head immediately ached form the effort to keep him out but she held strong. Then just like that, the connection dissipated. There one second and gone the next as if she had imagined it. But she knew she hadn't. Feeling shaky and a little tired Rey tucked the small gold charm Leia had given her into her pocket and went to find Poe.

Rey was beginning to get restless from her perch on a bench in the town square, just waiting for that feeling of being watched to show up. She had already had to fend off a couple of greasy bar rats looking for company and was growing tired of not making any progress here. Maybe who they were looking for wasn't here after all.

And then she felt it. Like ringing in your ears but in your whole body instead. Trying not to give away that she sensed it she discretely gave the signal, stretching her right arm behind herself and flashing two fingers at Poe. Then she bolted in the direction that she felt the gaze coming from. She spotted them! The small figure from the previous day running full bore through the crown toward the forest. Rey tried to dodge people, vendors and carts in her way but was definitely slower than whoever it was she was chasing. They seemed to fly through the crowd as if it wasn't there, missing vehicles by centimeters and never breaking stride. Rey fought to catch up trying to maintain a visual on their small target. They were coming to the edge of the city now, the person ahead running strait for the looming forest. While Rey was planning to give chase she somehow knew that if they broached the forest she would not be able to find them again. Sending up a prayer to the force and whoever else was listening that Poe was able to hold up his end of the bargain Rey pushed herself to a sprint.

The target was almost to the tree line when out of nowhere a speeder cut them off, causing their runner to slam into the side a little roughly. Poe was off of the speeder in less than a second grabbing the person and holding on till Rey caught up. Just as Rey approached Poe flew backward from their captive, falling harshly to the dirt. Recognizing the use of the force Rey reached out with her mind willing them to stop. And to her surprise, they did. Time stopped, noise ceased as the person turned to her slowly. They lifted their hand and pushed the hood back from their face.

Standing before Rey was one of the most beautiful young women Rey had ever seen. She was golden haired with delicate features and piercing green eyes that at the moment showed both confusion and fear. In that moment Rey knew that they had found who they were looking for.

"Brea?" she asked tentatively. When she got no response she continued "General Leia Organa sent me to find you, she needs your help."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rey sensed the girl looking for an exit strategy, her eyes darted around, plotting the best direction to run and that when Rey remembered the gold charm in her pocket. Fumbling she dug it out and thrust it forward.

"Leia said to give you this, that you'd help us." Rey said starting to feel panicky, what if this wasn't the right person, what if it was and she ran?

The girl froze staring that the chain extended from Rey's hand. Slowly she reached out, taking a step forward to grasp the trinket at the end and pull it to her, almost inspecting it for errors. Heaving a sigh, she closed her hand around the small cube and looked back at Rey.

"Is he dead?" She asked without inflection.

"No, not dead" Rey said understanding that she was asking about Kylo Ren.

Brea let out a breath like she had been bracing herself for a different answer then she looked around at Poe and Rey and the speeder behind her before turning back to Rey in understanding.

"If Leia sent a Jedi and her best pilot to find me, it must be bad."

Brea accompanied them back to their ship, quiet and contemplative, looking at the charm in her hand often. Poe kept glancing between Rey and Brea trying to communicate with Rey about the next phase of their plan. How were they going to convince this girl to go with them across the galaxy on a crazy, dangerous, most likely to be unsuccessful, mission?

Once in the privacy of the ship, seated around the small galley table Brea broke her silence.

"So how much do you know about who I am?" She asked, avoiding eye contact. Rey got the impression that she was not used to being scrutinized so closely. She seemed very much like a person more comfortable disappearing into the background. Difficult to do with her stunning looks and the force so strongly vibrating around her.

"Only what Leia knew of you." Rey began gently, "That you were friends with Ben Solo before he went to Snoke. That you were Luke's student, that you left with Kylo Ren when he destroyed the Jedi temple…and that sometime later, with the help of Han Solo, you escaped from the First Order and went into hiding." Rey paused, not sure how to say the last bit but Brea just waited her out somehow sensing that she knew the rest. "…and…and that Kylo Ren was in love with you. Your escape was when he turned fully to serve Snoke."

Brea stared down at her hands, playing with the small gold piece she still held tightly. She refused to look up or acknowledge what Rey had said though Rey knew she had heard every word. The atmosphere was crackling with discomfort, anger, sadness rolling off of the girl in waves so strong Rey was surprised even a non-force user like Poe couldn't feel it filling up the space.

Rey ventured again, "Leia thinks that you might be able to help us make a connection with Ben Solo. She is desperate for her son to switch sides. She thinks it's the only was the rebellion will survive."

Brea let out a small laugh but there was no humor in it.

"Leia thinks to use me as bait but she couldn't be more wrong. Ren will not be swayed by me. If anything, you risk more by brining me into this equation."

Rey was at a loss. Leia had told her that Ben Solo had loved this girl, had taken her with him into his dark life. That she was the key to bringing him back, showing him that he could have more on the side of the light than he could with the dark. What if she had been wrong. What if the information Leia had was bad and this girl meant nothing to Ben Solo or Kylo Ren. They would be lost, all hope finally extinguished.

With nothing left to lose Rey decided to ask the question that had been burning in her mind since Leia tasked her with this mission. "What happened between you and Ben Solo?"

 _Eight Years Earlier_

Ben walked slowly through the Jedi camp, pleased at having come from a very successful sparring match with some of his class. What his uncle said he lacked in control he made up for in training and it was paying off. Having been Luke Skywalker's first student it had taken him some time to learn that his uncle, while kind, was also learning himself when it come to the Force and when it came to combat. Having started training at the age of six at the Jedi temple with Master Skywalker, Ben had the advantage of learning combat techniques earlier than most of his classmates. The other padawans looked up to him for his skill and it was satisfying to have them ask for his help outside of the guidance of Master Skywalker, and also satisfying when his uncle agreed and allowed him to run a sparring class with some of the more advanced padawans.

Now eighteen years old and having spent so much of his time under his uncle's tutelage, Ben was ready to move on. He wanted to be named a Master himself, go and join the rebellion still at work dismantling empire strongholds across the galaxy. Train his own students and grow the Jedi forces. Thinking once again about leaving the temple as he walked across the camp gave him a renewed sense of purpose. He would broach the subject with Master Skywalker again tonight after meditation, hopefully his uncle would see he was ready to move on.

Slowing as he reached the clearing near his cottage he was distracted by the lightsaber training going on between some padawans just a year younger than himself. Two students faught with training sabers while their classmates looked on, Luke Skywalker walking around the display calling out corrections. Most padawans at this stage were very adept at wielding a saber but this fight seemed laughably mismatched. A boy, a good six inches shorter than ben himself was battling a petite girl with striking blond hair knotted at the back of her head. She was losing. Badly. Every strike that the young man delivered was parried but just barely in time. It was like she couldn't anticipate anything he was about to do even though Ben knew that they had ran this exercise many times before. Ben stopped to watch.

The girl dodged a blow meant to come down on her head and feinted sideways out of the way of another strike aimed for her shoulder. Every time Ben though she would go on the offensive she hesitated. It was there in her face, she was concentrating so hard that you could almost see the thoughts working their way through her body, every move a quarter of a second delayed. It was so unusual for a Jedi Padawan. They were taught to use their instincts, feel how to move, let the force guide those decisions not your brain, your brain is too slow. The fight continued, Luke calling out small adjustments. It was difficult to watch the girl, so determined, fail so miserably in front of her peers. When a quick succession of attacks came she was backed into a corner, up against a hut with nowhere left to retreat it seemed the fight was over. And that's when it happened.

Something in the girl's face changed, a look of determination bordering on anger came over her delicate features and all of a sudden, her opponent was thrown off, not thrown across the lawn but backed up a few steps. That's when she took the offensive. The girl flew at her once attacker swinging her practice saber with such grace and speed that it was hard to keep up watching her. The boy was now that one being backed across the lawn a look of shock on his face as he hastily tried to parry her advances. She landed a blow on his arm and just as she came around to deliver a blow that would end the fight…

"Stop!" a shout from Master Skywalker.

The girl froze and lowered her weapon instantly. Skywalker approached the two, first checking that the boy was alright from the blow he had taken to the arm, nothing serious, a little numbness for a couple hours, they had all experienced it before. Then he moved to the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder and speaking directly in her ear. Although Ben could only see her face, it told him enough. She went from determined to a disappointed slump in two seconds, looking near tears when Luke dismissed the class. All of the padawans headed for their huts, most likely eager to get to dinner. The girl was swallowed up in the small crowd leaving the practice arena. Ben approached his uncle, confused by why his uncle had stopped the training just when the girl seemed to find her footing.

Luke noticed him approaching and met him half way.

"Ben, how did your sparring class get on without me today." Luke asked, smiling.

"Fine. No issues." Ben replied not focused on his class after watching the display.

"Good." Luke said, "I trust that I will see you at meditation then." Skywalker made to walk away but Ben could not withhold his curiosity.

"Master Skywalker, " He began, "Can I ask why you stopped the lesson just now? It seemed unfair to not let the girl redeem herself after what I saw at the start."

Luke paused, clearly wanting to answer but choosing his words carefully. "Brea can be a wonderful fighter. She does poorly because she works so hard to keep her emotions in check. What you saw at the end of that fight was not Jedi fighting." He took a breath, "That was anger. When she allows it to come out she is one of the most skilled swordsmen I have ever seen, but it's not the light side of the force that is guiding her then. I fear that if I do not check her now, we may lose her later."

Ben was surprised by how candid his uncle was being with him about another student. He knew about the dark side of the force of course, every Padawan knew of the Sith, but Luke was usually so careful about discussing it with Ben. Luke knew that Ben felt the pull to the darkness on more than one occasion his anger, fear, resentment pushing through his Jedi training. It was reassuring to Ben to know that he was not the only Padawan that had struggled with this.

"Will you be able to teach her to control it?" Ben asked, for his own piece of mind as well as curiosity.

"Oh yes," Luke said, lightening the mood, "She will be fine, she has not been training as long as some, it will come in time."

Reassured that his uncle did not think the girl, _or himself_ , irredeemable Ben parted ways with him, making his way to dinner and planning to catch up with him again later to broach the topic of Ben leaving the academy.

Meditation went a little too quickly that night for Ben. Sometimes it felt as if it lasted forever with his mind wandering constantly, but tonight, nervous about the conversation he needed to have with Master Skywalker it flew by. He did notice Brea at the gathering, sitting with her Padawan classmates near the back, face blank of emotion. Even with her eyes red rimmed from crying he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. It surprised him that he hadn't taken note of it earlier, too distracted by her fierce fighting to pay much attention to her looks. Noticing beauty was vanity and not something Jedi were supposed to notice but now that Ben _had_ noticed it was impossible to _not_ notice. Her hair was down now, loose from the normal Jedi training style and made her seem much softer, if possible, more delicate but older too. He must have stared a moment too long because one of his friends, another Padawan his age caught his eye and wagged his eyebrows at Ben who quickly looked away and refocused on his meditation, endeavoring to think only on the matter at hand.

As the other padawans left for their huts Ben once again sought out his teacher. Luke did not seem surprised to see him approach, probably reading his intention before he moved.

"Master Skywalker," Ben began, "I wanted to speak to you about my graduation."

A look of resignation and trepidation crossed Luke's face. He gestured for Ben to follow and began walking out toward the cliffs.

"Ben, I knew that this was coming." Luke said, once they were out of earshot of the other students. "I know how eager you are to join your mother in the fight against what remains of the Empire"

Ben jumped in, eager to plead his case, "I want to help them. Soon all of the Empire will be eradicated, even from the outer rim and I want to be a part of that. You were my age when you joined the rebellion, I want to take my place there too."

Luke turned to him, facing him fully. "Fighting is not glamorous or heroic. It's a necessity sometimes but not something to be enjoyed. I'm sorry Ben, I know you think you are ready. You're strong and skilled with the Force but I fear your lack of control sometimes."

Ben had feared this. He knew his uncle had sometimes felt the anger that manifested within him. At his parents for dumping him here when he was young, at Luke for trying to stifle his skill and at himself for failing to be able to control his emotions.

Luke watched the play of emotions cross Ben's face and then spoke again.

"You are a gifted Jedi. You will make a great Master one day. One day soon. You're already a far better teacher than me. Another few months Ben, that's all I ask. Just some time to let you really feel the direction you want to take, that's all."

Ben tried to control the resentment welling up inside him, fought for the state of peace that all Jedi were supposed to be able to access. It didn't come. Frustrated with himself and his teacher he simply thanked Luke for hearing him out and walked away back toward his hut, taking the long way by the woods.

Focused on the crunch of grass under his boots and the growing disappointment he almost didn't notice the dim flash of light coming from the forest several moments later. He turned his head in that direction, wondering if he was imagining things, it wouldn't be the first time the Force had played tricks on him. And then he caught a glimpse of it again, a dim blue glow flashing past a tree a couple hundred paces off of the trail he now stood on. Curious about what or who would be out in the woods so late he watched his step, creeping closer silently. Padawans were not allowed out after evening mediation, who would risk punishment to go for a walk in the woods? As he crept closer he noticed the gentle hum that belonged to one of their practice sabers, not as elegant a sound as a real lightsaber, sharper, more metallic. Ben, careful to disguise his presence with the foliage around him peeked from behind the tree and spotted her.

Brea was furious. Evening meditation had done nothing to soothe her wounded pride about failing so miserably in front of Master Skywalker earlier. Why was she so unable to suppress her emotions, she cursed at herself. Every other Padawan seemed able to do it without a problem but not her. Oh, no. She just fought to keep them in check throughout every practice and then got beat by her opponent without fail. But today, oh today had been the worst yet. She had let go. For one glorious moment she had let that frustration free, let it well up inside her, let it guide her movements and then been reprimanded for her lack of restraint. She knew Master Luke was right, she needed to let go of her fear of failure, her anger at her circumstances, let it go and just let the Force guide her. But that was the problem too, the Force did guide her…right back to her volatile emotions, every time.

Brea felt defeated but she wasn't ready to give up yet. She had nothing to go back to if this didn't work out and she hated the thought of an aimless existence like her mother. With that thought driving her Brea left evening mediation with a plan. She would show Master Skywalker she could do this. She just needed more practice. Go back to the basic Jedi forms. Find peace in the movement of a lightsaber, in the lifting of rocks, in the meditation Jedi so regularly practiced. Though she new it to be against the rules she veered from her route to her hut in favor of some seclusion in the woods, a place where she wouldn't be bothered. A place she could practice and learn to stifle the emotions that held her back.

She picked her way through the woods at the north end of the camp, careful not to stray too far in. The last thing she needed was to get lost out here at night and then have to explain to Master Skywalker why he had to send out a search party for her. He would probably send his nephew to find her. Ben Solo. She had seen him witness her failure today. It must be hard for someone like him to understand her problem. Everything came so easily to him and his friends. She had seen them training, enthralled by the way they all fought so savagely but always within the confines of the Jedi code. She had longed for that skill.

Reaching a spot that had enough clear space for her to move around Brea dropped her cloak at the foot of a tree and took out her practice saber. Taking a few calming breaths, she extended it and powered it on, beginning with the simplest forms and moving through them in sequence, slowly and methodically, trying to focus solely on the weight of the saber, its relation to her body. The movement and countermovement. Balance. She would stay out here till dawn if she had to but she _would_ find a way to overcome this.

Ben was impressed. She knew the forms flawlessly, each movement fluid and careful but there was something not quite right about it. Technically he could see that she knew exactly what to do, where to place her feet. How to hold the saber. But something he couldn't place felt…off. Like the movements were somehow outside herself, not quite her own. Ben had watched and helped many students. Padawans who couldn't remember the footwork or who constantly rotated the wrong direction but his was something new. A challenge to be explored. He waited till she took a break between sets and then spoke.

"You know the forms very well."

Brea gasped and whirled around but didn't scream outright which Ben respected. He had thought he might frighten her but knew of no better way to announce his presence than simply doing it. Her expression went from fear to disappointment so quickly he was almost offended. He tried again.

"Your forms…their very good, you move well." He waited for her response.

"Thank you." She said warily. "I guess this means I'm in trouble then?"

"For your forms being good?" Ben asked, deliberately missing her meaning.

"No. For being out here. It's against the rules, and aren't you like second in command here or something?"

Ben could tell that she was annoyed with his presence, thinking that he would run to his uncle and tattle. That's what he should do but he wasn't feeling particularly grateful to all of the Jedi rules at the moment.

"Some rules can be bent." He said, then realizing that sounded traitorous amended, "I mean you're practicing so I don't really see the harm in it."

Ben saw her relax a bit, her shoulders going down a little. They stood in awkward silence for a moment. Ben broke it first.

"Do you want some help?" He offered.

"With what, you said my forms were good." Brea pointed out. Ben laughed, nodding his agreement.

"Yeah, your forms are good but there is something off. You can feel it, I can tell."

She looked away from him, ashamed that he could tell so quickly that there was something wrong with her. Ben noticed her shutting down immediately, retracting into herself. He drew his practice saber.

"Attack me." He said.

Brea stared at him like he had grown a second head.

"No thanks," She said half turning away, "I don't much feel like getting my ass kicked today thanks." She turned to pick up her cloak, clearly done with the conversation.

"Come on." Ben goaded, "I'll go easy on you." That worked. He could feel her resolve even before he could read it on her face. She didn't like shrinking from a challenge, and make no mistake he had just issued one. He felt her decision far before she made a move to act on it, swinging around on the offensive and attaching relentlessly, trying to push him back. He parried easily, not even trying to take control of the fight, just gauging her tactics.

She had skill, that wasn't the problem, all of her moves were flawless just preceded by a split second of doubt each time making her predictable, slow for a Jedi. An easy weakness to exploit.

When Ben decided that he had something to work with he changed tactics, advancing and quickly disarming her. Bea looked pissed. Embarrassed for sure at having her weapon taken so easily but more angry than anything else. And maybe a little self-loathing he felt in there too. Interesting. How could a gorgeous spitfire like her have self-loathing. The errant thought passed before he could check it and Ben shook it off tossing her blade back to her.

"I can read your decisions, it's like you pause before you execute them. It should be instinctual, like breathing. Just let force flow through you freely." He explained.

"That's the problem." She said, "I can't just let the Force flow through me. Every time I try it, it fails. " She struggled to find the right words, "I mean, it works for the fighting part, I definitely get better at that… but then Master Skywalker, he says I go …dark."

The admission was a difficult one for her, it showed in her eyes and her voice. Looking for a way to reassure her, Ben pressed.

"What do you mean you go dark? Like you use the dark side of the Force?"

"I guess so." She shrugged, "Master Skywalker says that he can sense that I am using my anger or fear to guide me. That's not what Jedi do."

Ben understood exactly what she meant. He had witnessed it when he watched her fight earlier that day. Truth be told he had many similar conversations with his uncle too when he was younger. Always being reminded that Jedi's power came from a place of peace. Although he understood the concept he didn't pretend that there weren't times that he still took out his aggression on his opponents…he just didn't do it in front of his uncle anymore. Not wanting to admit this to a girl he barely know Ben refocused on what he could help with.

"Okay" He said, "Let's try this. I'm going to attack you the same way over and over and I want you to block the same way over and over. Maybe you can build your responses into your muscle memory so much that you are working without relying on the force so much."

"That's just normal fighting." She said dismayed, "Am I even a Jedi if I fight like that?"

"Your inherent Force sensitivity makes you well on your way to Jedi." He tried to reassure her, "Everything else is just training."

Satisfied with that answer for now Brea shook out her arms and got into defensive position. Ben came at her with an overhead strike which she deflected deftly. Without pause he repeated the move for the next ten minutes before switching and coming at her with a side slash, pulling back when, unprepared for the change, she missed the parry and his practice sword hit her side.

"Sorry," He apologized immediately, stepping back.

"No its fine, I want to keep going." She said, dropping back into her stance. Ben smiled and delivered another strike.

They continued like this for what must have been a couple of hours. No breaks just clean, repetitive practice. Finally Brea called a stop, looking weary. They gathered their cloaks and began walking back toward the camp.

Feeling awkward about the silence Brea spoke up.

"Thank you for helping me tonight." She said shyly.

"It's no problem." Ben started, and then decided to confide in her, "I needed to work off some energy tonight anyway. I had a tough conversation with my uncle today." He wasn't sure why he was being so candid with her but it felt right to get it off his chest.

"About what?" She asked, tentatively.

Ben sighed, "I want him to make me a master so I can go and join the rebellion forces. There is still a lot of work to do out there but I worry that it will all be over by the time Master Skywalker graduates me to Jedi Master. "

Brea nodded. "I get it. If I thought I could help I'd want to be out there too."

They walked in companionable silence the rest of the way to the edge of the woods.

"Well, thanks again." Brea said, starting to sneak back towards her hut.

" Hey Brea," Brea stopped, her heart leaping just a bit at hearing her name in that deep soothing voice. "If you wanted to train like this again…well I could meet you here tomorrow maybe?"

"Honestly, that would be really helpful." Se smiled, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, after meditation."

"Yeah, see you then." Ben said and let her walk away toward the camp watching till the darkness enveloped her small frame and then reaching out tentatively with the Force till he could sense her. She seemed happy, he was glad he could help her. As much as he didn't want to overanalyze his feelings he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He should have reprimanded her, told her to go back to camp, informed his uncle…but he just couldn't. Something about her called to him and he identified with her problem. So for now, he wouldn't worry too much. What harm could come from helping her train, he did it for other padawans all the time.

She would be like any other student. A beautiful, sweet, compelling student.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 _The Present_

Brea looked so worn out from just telling Rye how she met Ben Solo that she didn't press her when Brea stopped talking and stood from the table.

"None of this matters," Brea said, moving angrily across the small room. "He is not Ben Solo any longer. We can't change the past, even if we wanted to. We can only move forward. I don't think I'm going to be able to help you…"

Rey began to protest but Brea cut her off.

"…But I'll come with you. If Leia thinks I might be helpful I have nothing left to lose, and I'm sick of hiding."

Rey and Poe exchanged a look, relieved that they weren't going to have to kidnap this poor girl and hold her against her will. Leia hadn't said it outright but she had been clear that if they didn't bring her back with them she held out little hope for their cause.

"Do you need to go get anything?" Poe asked helpfully.

"No." Brea replied quickly, "There is nothing here I value."

An awkward silence followed her admission. Rey was sad for her, she must be very scared if she wasn't willing to put down any roots, not even belongings she wanted to keep. Although Rey had left Jakku with nothing, it was not for lack of desire to have things to own, she had simply never had the opportunity.

"If you have no further business here, I would suggest we get going." Brea said, turning to them expectantly, "The sooner we get to your rebellion, the sooner you'll know if I was worth the trouble of coming here."

"I'll uh… go get the ship prepped for takeoff." Poe said, a little taken aback by Brea's candid nature. He moved off to the cockpit BB-8 following behind chirping curiously. Rey turned back to Brea to catch her pulling the chain with the charm over her head and tucking it into her shirt. Rey wondered what it meant. For a girl with no possession she wanted to take with her, she seemed very attached to a small bit of metal.

Rey gave Brea a quick tour of their vessel and then showed her to a seat in the cockpit while she and Poe guided the ship out of the atmosphere and into hyperspace. They hadn't been moving for long when Brea excused herself saying that she was tired and would take the opportunity to sleep before having to face the rebellion.

Brea moved through the ship in disbelief that she was actually going with these crazy people. She was sure that they were wrong, that she wasn't as important as they seemed to think…but then she would feel the chain around her neck, and hope.

Brea lay in the bunk Rey had pointed out to her trying to clear her mind but it was no use. Trying to tell Rey and Poe her history with Ben Solo had been draining and she was too tired now to stop the barrage of memories that assailed her. Memories that she had tried, desperately, to keep at bay came in quick succession…

 _Eight Years Earlier_

Brea sat down on the ground heavily, feeling defeated. Ben had been working with her for two weeks and her progress was marginal. Now, having been practicing non-stop for the past hour she was tired, achy and on the verge of tears.

Ben sat on the ground next to her, stretching his legs out, leaning causally back on his hands. He didn't press her to talk, understanding that she needed a moment to wallow. Letting her have time to put those feelings aside.

"You don't have to help me anymore." Brea blurted. "I'm going to leave. Master Skywalker can tell that I'm no good at this and I'm sick of failing. Even with the best student here tutoring me I'm not getting any better." She hung her head, refusing to look at Ben, afraid to see the truth of her words reflected in his eyes.

Ben took a deep breath next to her, choosing his words carefully. "You're very hard on yourself, you know." He said, "And I get it, I've often been frustrated by my uncle's all or nothing attitude, but I think before you give up on this there is something we should try."

Brea waited expectantly. What did he mean? If there was another tactic to try, another way for her to use the force, a way to be better at this she had to know.

"Another training technique?" She asked, "I'll do anything. I don't want to leave, but I don't want to always be playing catch up to everyone else either."

"I don't want you to leave either." Ben said. Brea felt her heart clench a little at his admission. She tried to push the feeling from her chest. Ben didn't mean it like that. He just didn't want to see a student fail, that was all.

Ben pushed to his feet, striding into the clearing and turning to face her he drew his practice saber.

"Attack me." He said simply. When she made no move to stand, he advanced on her. "I said, attack me." Ben swung at her and Brea half-heartedly raised her saber to block but Ben didn't relent. He slashed at her until she had little choice but to stand and fight back or get hit.

"Ben" She said, "this is pointless."

He didn't respond, just continued to deliver blows that she continued to block, goading her to fight back. After a full minute of this he stopped.

"Come on short stuff, if it's your last fight, show me what you got." He said, looking her up and down with a smirk, clearly thinking her no threat at all.

Brea knew what he was doing. He was trying to get her mad, to really attack him. Even knowing it was a game she couldn't help but feel a little thrill of annoyance pulse through her blood. She hated that her petite stature made people think she was weak. Deciding that Ben was right, she had nothing to lose, she swung at him, for real this time.

He easily parried the blow meant for his head.

"Really?" He started, "That's your best? I'm disappointed." He was outright mocking her now, laughing at her. She flew at him trying to land strikes on his shoulders, his chest. Swinging at his knees only to have him jump out of reach or throw her off. Every swing that didn't connect only served to piss Brea off more. She hated that this came so easily to him. Why did the force give him so many talents and her so many obstacles, it wasn't fair!

Brea felt the anger welling up. Felt the disappointment and the struggle filling her spirit, crying out for her to lash out. For once, she didn't suppress it. He wanted her to attack him for real? Fine.

Brea let lose her anger, delivering blows in quick succession, giving no quarter. She used her smaller height to her advantage, using her strength to swing her lightsaber in a way that would cut him in half if it were real. Ben leapt backward, narrowly escaping her blade. She saw the brief moment of surprise on his face and smiled. Then she advanced again, letting her frustration out, letting all of her disappointed hopes rise to the surface, letting them flow through her movements. Whenever Ben moved to take the offensive she blocked deftly and redoubled her efforts, trying to back him into a corner.

She was untouchable, Ben thought trying to concentrate as to not let her strike him. When she really let go she almost matched him for skill. He saw all of their training in those moments. She was lightning quick, no hesitation now and her form was artful and mastered. If Master Luke could see her like this she would be a master herself in no time. " _But a master of what?"_ Ben thought. He could feel the Force around them, she was filled with it. Almost glowing from it. But this was not the force that Ben had been taught to use. This was darker. Not Sith exactly, for he could still sense a lightness to her that wouldn't be there if she were truly Sith, but darkness all the same, and something in him called to that darkness. He fought the urge to taste it. To reach out and bring it into himself. To let go for just a moment and really feel those emotions that he had worked so hard to keep in check.

It was in that moment that Brea caught him off guard. She faked right but slashed in another direction, catching him in the leg. This tiny girl had landed a blow on him. Him! The best student at the temple, grandson of Anakin Skywalker! His will to suppress his anger dissolved. Ben fought back savagely, no longer trying to teach her, just trying to win but it was a little late. She was already advancing again, moving him backward through the clearing, pushing him deeper into the forest.

The satisfaction he saw on her face whenever she got close to striking him only fueled his frustration and soon they were both out of breath, neither one willing to give an inch. Ben saw her weakness, she was tired, not having his stamina from so many years of training so hard. If he struck hard enough and quick enough the fight would be over. He raised his saber over his head, ready to end it but Brea read his intention. Before he knew what was happening she had thrown out her hand in front of herself and he felt himself get thrown backward. He landed hard, slamming into the base of a tree, his blade falling from his hand.

Hearing his body hit the tree with a hollow thud Brea snapped out of her anger in an instant. She dropped her weapon and ran to him, kneeling by his side.

"Ben!" she nearly yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders, sending up a prayer to the Force that he was alright. "Ben, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

Ben looked up into her face and she nearly fell backwards with the force of his gaze. But it wasn't anger she saw in his eyes, but wonder.

Brea let go of him immediately, embarrassed that she had been goaded so easily into the fight. Admonishing herself for her lack of control. Her gaze dropped to the ground.

"I'm so sorry Ben, I shouldn't have done that." She said quietly, " What you just saw me do, it's terrible..."

"It's beautiful." He cut her off. She saw his hand move, felt it touch her face drawing her eyes back to his.

"It's beautiful." He repeated, "I've never seen anyone fight with such grace."

The way he looked at her, like she was some treasure that he had just discovered made her weak. She knew that what they had done was wrong, but in this moment, she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty about it. She swallowed hard, feeling intensely their intimate position and needing to break the contact before she did something really stupid.

Brea stood, turning to find her lightsaber and then making her way back to the clearing. She heard Ben moving behind her but he waited till she had gathered her cloak before he spoke.

"Don't quit." He said simply. "Luke doesn't know everything. Maybe we could help each other."

Brea took a moment before turning to him fully.

"Yeah." She said, "Maybe we can."

Their trainings continued, always secret, always at night and now, tinged with something neither of them dared give a name to. While the focus of their time was still largely repetitive there was a new edge too. She could feel something shift when they were out there. Something small, like a kind of electricity that surrounded them. A kind of darkness that made everything more intense.

The atmosphere wasn't the only thing to shift. Soon their conversations were getting more personal. And as much as Brea craved their connection she also knew that if they were caught Master Luke would be furious. As much as she didn't want to anger her Jedi Master, Brea couldn't stop herself from sneaking into the woods every night.

Two weeks later Brea and Ben lay side by side, taking a well-deserved break from sparring, staring up through the canopy of trees at the stars, every now and then noticing a far-off starship move through the sky.

"I want to fly one of those someday." Ben said pointing to a speck moving though the stars.

"Captain Ben Solo does have a nice ring to it." Brea teased.

"Nah, "He replied "I've always hated my name. I'll change it when I leave here. I don't want people to only think of me as Han and Leia's son. Or Luke Skywalker's nephew." He said sadly.

He didn't talk about his parents much but when he did Brea got the distinct impression that he didn't know them very well. Like maybe he knew the stories of them better than the people themselves.

"What would you call yourself then?" She asked, trying to keep it light.

"I don't know." Ben lied. "Something more…interesting."

"Like…?" She goaded.

Ben sighed, "Like...Kylo."

Brea burst out laughing, "Kylo?! What kind of name is that?"

"A cool one!" Ben protested, "It sounds like a fighter pilot name."

"If you say so." Brea chuckled.

"Well, what do you think it should be?" Ben asked, clearly a little put out at her reaction.

"I don't know, " She began, "It should be like a nickname, something that people wouldn't question."

"Like what?" Ben pushed.

"Like… Ren."

"Ren?" Ben sat up, "and you think Kylo is a dumb name?"

Brea laughed. "I used to know someone named Ren on my planet. It would be a good name for you. Not so old fashioned as Ben and not so ridiculous as Kylo. Plus, people would just think it's some kind of nickname for Ben." She explained.

Ben seemed unconvinced, raising and eyebrow at her.

"Come on, I'm brilliant, it's a great name." She cajoled. Ben cracked a smile and lay back on the grass.

"Well," He said, "If I have a nickname you should have one too."

"No thanks." She said. "I'm good with plain old Brea."

"I don't think there is anything plain about you." Ben said quietly.

As they parted ways that night Brea felt that shift between them again. It was getting harder and harder to say goodbye every night and she knew that attachments were dangerous for a Jedi, knew that one or both of them should put a stop to it. There was always this moment, right before she walked away that she thought he was going to tell her that it was over, that they shouldn't meet anymore but he never did and she was too selfish to do it herself.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said to her back.

"Yeah, " She replied, "See you tomorrow Ren."

Tomorrow turned out to be one of the worst days that Brea could remember. Master Skywalker was harder on them than was normal and he seemed not to be able to see her improvement even though she could feel the difference. Skywalker, disappointed in their lack of progress as a class had instructed that they should all go for a run around the entire temple…twice.

Annoyed at her master and lost in her thoughts Brea almost didn't notice Ben holding his own class on the other side of the temple with other padawans his age, all men, she couldn't help but notice. While Jedi could be male or female there was a distinct lack of women at the Jedi temple, only six or seven out of the fifty students that trained there.

Brea watched as Ben instructed two of his class to attack, demonstrating the best way to take on two opponents at once. Both students lost so quickly it wasn't much of a demonstration. She saw Ben heave a sigh and then he looked in her direction, as if he sensed her there.

"Brea" he called out gesturing for he to come over. She jogged over, intimidated to be standing with so many higher-ranking students.

"You mind helping us out for a second?" Ben asked as she approached.

"Um… sure." She replied, unsure of what he was asking.

"I want you to attack me." He said plainly, " _Really_ attack me." He gave her a pointed look, indicating that she should not hold back, that he wanted her to access the darkness that they dabbled in out in the woods. Here. In front of these other students.

Hesitant but not wanting to disappoint him Brea fell into stance, drawing her saber. They circled each other for a moment, looking for a weakness to exploit. Then, just as Ben stepped toward her Brea feinted to the right, trying to get behind him to strike. He anticipated her movement and blocked deftly. They continued like this for several minutes before Ben stopped and took a step back readdressing his class who stood watching intently.

"That is what it should look like." He explained. "Smooth, no decisions just fluid movement. Like breathing." He turned back to her. "Thank you for helping with our demonstration."

"Sure." Brea said, feeling awkward at their formal exchange "Anytime Ren." She threw out her new name for him to break the weirdness. It worked, Ben smiled and looked sheepish.

"Uh, see you at dinner." He said turning back to his students, leaving her to continue her jog. As she moved away she heard one of the other padawans questioning him.

"Ren? What's that about?" He asked, referring to her use of the wrong name.

"It's my nickname." She heard Ben reply and smiled.

"I don't know." Brea said, trying to focus on lifting the rock in front of her. She and Ren were in their clearing, sitting across from one another they were working on passing stones back and forth using the force.

Brea continued, "I grew up on a mining planet. It's not clean work, or honest."

"But we need the Kyber crystals." Ren argued, "Light sabers are made from them, they are part of our teachings. There isn't really a better way to get them."

"Sure there is." Brea started, almost dropping a rather large stone before catching it and guiding it over to him. "There are whole stars made out of Kyber. All someone would have to do is find a way to channel the heat away from the star and then go collect the crystal. There would be enough for every Jedi and then some."

"But a star would be dead." Ren stated obviously.

"So what. There are plenty of stars." She said, frustrated with the conversation.

"Woah, easy there star-killer." He joked, "some planets need those for, you know, sunlight…life."

Brea dropped the stone she was holding between them. "I'm just saying that there needs to be a better way to get what we need. Exploiting mining planets is not right. We're no better than the Empire if we think that way." She was angry now, he didn't understand. She had lived through it, seen how terrible and dangerous the conditions were. Hadn't watched his father leave because of it.

Ren looked at her closely, sensing that he had missed something. "You're right." He said finally, "If we are fighting for freedom we should be fighting for those planets too."

Meeting his gaze, she breathed deeply, sensing that he understood her anger even if he didn't know the reason.

"Sorry," she started, "I didn't mean to get upset. It's just that things aren't always so black and white as we would like them to be."

"I understand." He replied simply. They resumed their little game of throwing stones moving past the conversation.

When they parted ways that night Brea was slow to walk away, lingering beside him longer than necessary. There was this pull that she felt, getting stronger all the time. The days were seeming longer and longer the nights shorter and shorter and goodbye was always the hardest. When she finally did turn to walk away Ren caught her hand. She gasped quietly at the contact. The physical reaction to his touch was immediate. Heat like fire radiated out from where his had held hers and her heart beat a frantic rhythm in her chest.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, as if he didn't already know the answer.

"Yeah." She tried to sound steadier than she felt. "See you tomorrow." She pulled her hand free, not looking back as she walked away.

"Goodnight Starkiller." He said to her back.

"Goodnight Ren."


End file.
